How It all begun... my personal story

The nurses called him "the screamer" although every time I came to feed him he was quiet. "Just wait", they told me. A short while after we arrived home, I definitely understood what they meant. He had no patience at all and everything he wanted he wanted now or he started screaming and yelling and crying. He spent his first six months at home with me and once I put him in daycare he became sick, again and again, so sick that the doctor would not allow him to go back to daycare. Unfortunately, at this exact time I was pregnant and was hospitalized. When I returned home- it was with his baby sister, not the best thing to bring him in order to get him closer to me once again. We went through it of course, but what I did not know at the time was that he was being bullied at daycare. Every time he cried or screamed we put it down to his character, his personality.

Every mile stone we came to was difficult.. When we started potty training him we went to a parent's consultant, when he seemed a bit clumsy- we took him to sport therapy and more counseling. Just before his first year of primary school we realized that he couldn’t pronounce all of the letters correctly and we took him to a speech therapist. In primary school it was easy to see that although he was super smart for his age- he was also very childish. His behavior didn’t completely match his age.

Every time something new came along I fought, got therapy, consulting, help, a personal assistant - anything and everything he needed. A little before his first year of school ended, it finally hit me- It isn’t just about giving therapy and consulting and hoping everything will be OK. I have a child with special needs. I HAVE A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. This is how raising my child will be for the rest of his life. I also understood that I don’t have to fight it; I just have to adjust myself to raising my kid. Making sure he has all of the tools he needs in order to grow up like any other "normal" kid. All of the tools he needs in order to succeed in life.

So I did what I always do when things get a bit hard. I started writing. I bought myself a notebook and started writing everything down- the bad things and the good things, about the hard days and about the sad days, recipes and important information. A notebook that had become my private journal, my inspiration. I then decided that more mothers like me should have a notebook like this. A special notebook for a special mother filled with important information, success stories and a place to let it all out.

I am not this way even though I have a child with special needs. I am this way because I have a child with special needs. Because I have a special child. Because I have a loveable, magical, beautiful, special child.

He is my mirror, my weakness, my strength, my life. My inspiration.